I had someone ask me if my truck was a lightning................Uh, no, It's a gmc. So, It came stock like that? Then you get the people with a brain with thier phones out taking pictures " dude, this is the ultimate sleeper". That makes it all worth it.

 

One of my favorites was a conversation I had with a local transmission builder when I was trying to get a new front pump:

Me: Well; I'm getting my converter back in a week or so its a 3600 Yank.
Him: A 3600 stall? Why in the world would you want to do that? All it is gonna do is make you give it more gas to take off.
Me: It puts me in the powerband faster so I get off the line quicker.
Him: It won't make you any faster; it just wastes gas.
Me: What? Do you understand how a torque converter works?

Then I hung up on him.

 

had a funny one today in the s10 in down town lawrence at a lite in traffic guy says you got a big tach for that 4 cylinder i said yep sure do he is drivn a new dodge ram, lite turns green he floors is runs up to next lite RED im like this guys an idiot, then he says what you dont want to race, I told him sure y not lets get a kill, lite turns green i take off leave in the dust by 4 car lengths, so pull into a gas station pop the hood and was gonna add some windshield washer fluid, this guy comes flying in the parking lot im like great this should be good, he says man thats fast for a 4 cylinder as he is looking at the motor, maybe he was just so astonished he was only looking at half the motor. People are stupid

 

so i'm at a light next to my friend's turbo MX6 & we're talking a little as we sat there. when the light changed, i got through 1st & then hammered it in 2nd (not like the 4.3 was fast, but oh well...) of course, the input bearing was whining like none other & when he got next to me, he said "zebra, there's no way you supercharged that thing!!"

 

I called autozone one time and talked to a girl that doesn't know anything. I had her (try) and look up spark plugs for my 05 duramax. (don't worry we knew the girl, and didn't care for her much)

Her: It's showing up glow plugs, it doesn't show spark plugs though
Me: So are you telling me that my truck doesn't have spark plugs?
Her: No sir, I mean it's not possible for a vehicle to run without spark plugs "while laughing nervously"
Me: "just plain laughing"

fail

 

The manager of the AAMCO that changed my transmission fluid asked me if my truck eas one the "Thunder Edition" Chevy Trucks. I told him I don't have ny idea what your talking about but no. LOL what an idiot.

 

Is your truck lowered? why would anyone want to lower a truck. ( i was not sure what to say to him after that, so i just kept my mouth shut) some people just cant appreciate a good old custom truck wether its fast, slow, bagged, lifted, all show. **** i love all kinds of custom vehicles its art to me.

 

In the snow the other night, I had a guy pull up next to me as I was waiting to help someone that had gotten stuck. He wanted to know if my truck had a locker in it. He kept insisting that there was no way I could get around on the ice like I was without a locker. He didn't seem to understand what a stock posi unit was. All he knew is he just paid a "boat load" of money to have a locker put in his jeep wrangler he could go anywhere he wanted.

After he left, one of my neighbors said he showed up a few years back and would pull people out, then tell them they owed him $150. They called the cops on him. Guess he figured he would give it another try until he saw my truck.

 

i got asked why i have such a big radiator up front a few days ago.

I told him it was a trans cooler!

 

Had a conversation with a guy in a Hemi last weekend at a local hangout spot. Hes notorious for ******* other peoples cars/trucks and thinking his is the fastest thing on earth. So naturally I wanted to burn him. There were a ton of cars around and a handful of trucks. One of the cars being my buddies 750rwhp Cobra which Hemi guy thinks is a turd. My buddy with the Cobra was standing next to me when Hemi guy walked up. Went like this.

Hemi guy: Man thats not a bad lookin truck for a Chevy.
Me: Thanks, I like it and Im happy with it.
Hemi guy: Yea Ive got some stuff done to mine. Ive got that Hemi Ram over there. I got a cold air intake and a Flowmaster muffler and its chipped.
Me: Thats cool. You just gettin started doing work to it or what?
Hemi guy: What!? Gettin started!? Theres not much else to do to it man! Its already a beast.
Me: Well you could build the motor. Theres definetly power to be had with that. And a custom tune would be better than a "chip" as you call it.
Hemi guy: **** man its already to fast. Itll stomp that long slow *** pile youre driving.
Me: Really? You care to put money on that?
Hemi guy: Well whats done to it first off?
Me: Just catless true duals, intake and a tune basically.
Hemi guy: Man how much you wanna run for? Youre dumb to think that 5.3 would ever hang with a Hemi. Besides mines a 5.7. Yours is a 5.3. Youre already at a disadvantage right there man.
Me: I dont care, how about $300? (My buddy with the Cobra laughing hysterically at this point.)
Hemi guy: **** man I dont got $300 to run for. How about $50?
Me: Ok $50 is fine. I need to stop for gas after we race anyhow.
Hemi guy: Hahaha what? You think youre gonna take MY money? Boy you better get to reading and learn about the Hemi. Its the greatest motor ever put in a truck.
Me: Ok Ill do that after we race. We goin or what?
Hemi guy: So you really arent scared?
Me: No.
Hemi guy: Alright man lets go, but dont say I didnt warn ya!

So we get in our trucks, line up and his buddy flags us. I spun a little out of the hole but still jumped him and pulled him hard all the way to the end. My buddy with the Cobra said about halfway down it didnt look like we were racing anymore. He said it looked like I was driving and he was following me in the other lane lol. So I go back to the spot and Hemi guy pulls up shortly after I get out of my truck.

Hemi guy: (Rolls down window and hands me $50) Man how much NOS you runnin?
Me: No nitrous, just motor.
Hemi guy: Man there is no way a 5.3 will beat this Hemi without NOS.
Me: Yea there is and besides, YOU assumed I had a 5.3. I never said it was a 5.3.
Hemi guy: WTF you got a big block in there?
Me: Nope. Just a LQ9 6.0.
Hemi guy: Bullshit, the 6.0 only comes in the HD trucks and thats a work truck motor. It dont build horsepower for ****, it just makes torque to pull trailers and ****.
Me: Well Ive got one and obviously its not a work truck or an HD.
Hemi guy: Whatever man I still say youve got NOS.
Me: Ill pop the hood, if you find a nitrous line let me know. Ill give you a $1000 if you can find a nitrous line, bottle or solenoid on that truck anywhere. (My buddy in the Cobra tells Hemi guy "No BS man that truck is exactly what he says it is. Its about time you figure out that the Hemi isnt what you think it is."
Hemi guy: Fu** yall man. I aint gonna hang around a bunch of cheaters and liars. You screwed me out of my money, I hope youre happy.